The reason is simple, every man is right in his own eyes and the wrongs they have done to us, get filtered through their self-justification process about a minute after they committed the wrong. Unless it was a really bad wrong, then it might take an hour or even the rest of the day for them to justify their actions. But rest assured by the next morning they will not see us as someone they have wronged. They will see us as someone with a personal problem and they won’t give it another thought. God says forgive and just give it to Him. His sewing and reaping (cause and effect) process will handle it. After we forgive, we are to let it go. That is easier said than done so when the urge to retaliate comes, keep repeating, “I’m trusting God to handle this” and let the urge pass.

    Taking the high road by doing good to them will make it really hard for them to justify the wrong. It keeps reminding them of the wrong they have done to us, causing them to feel shame in our presents. Proverbs calls it heaping burning coals on their heads.

I heard Joel Osteen say, “disappointment is inevitable, but misery is optional”.

    There is something called the two-week, two-day, two-minute rule that goes like this; there are some people we can spend two weeks with and some people we can only spend two minutes with. Do not try to spend two weeks with a two day or two-minute person. This will cut down on the number of offences we have to forgive and the number of offences we commit.

Some people will celebrate us, others will tolerate us. Spending time where we are celebrated is more encouraging.

Boundaries

     Let me clarify forgiveness, if a thief steels from us, when we forgive them. Even if God return to us what was lost. We are not to automatically trust them with our valuables.

Many Christians forgive unacceptable behavior and put themselves in the same position to be taken advantage of again and again. There is no such thing as a doormat for Christ ministry. We need to learn the lesson God is trying to teach us about boundaries.

    A good example of this is parents that let their kid rule. They fall into the doormat category, of not setting boundaries. There is nothing worse than being a doormat to a child. If the parents don’t discipline their child when they are small, they can look forward to a miserable existence of people avoiding them and never being invited anywhere a second time. If they love their child, they should want others to love their child. Some parents will actually say I just can’t get my child to mind me. “Can’t” is not the right word, because they weigh 3-4 times more than the child. The problem is the kid thinks they are smarter than the parents and they are, because they know how to get their way. The parents didn’t set boundaries.

    Disciplining your child when they are young will help keep the cops from slapping the cuffs on them when they grow up. Many children that were taught that they have entitlement and don’t have to respect authority, are now dead after disrespecting and becoming confrontational with police.

    On the other end of the spectrum, we have the adult man and women with their own families that are doormats to a controlling parent. Marriage is leaving our mother and father and cleaving to each other not being at our parent’s beck and call because they don’t want to cut the umbilical cord. Just cut it, the sooner the better. An improved relationship will usually develop in time with the new bounders we set. We can’t serve two masters; we can’t serve two households we will love one and despise the other.