by Patty Berardesco

On Sept 4th 1969, my cousin and friend paid the ultimate sacrifice. Cliffy was killed in Vietnam. He was only 19 yrs old. We were the same age. Our family was shaken to the core. We grieved for so long. My grief and sorrow never faded, I grieved for years. Anytime I would visit or experience something new and wonderful, I would mourn Cliffy. I remember seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time and just weeping, the same when I landed in Hawaii and St. Martin, tears would flow. I felt such sorrow that Cliffy never got to see or experience these amazing sights. I shared this with a friend and she thought I might have survivor’s guilt. I often thought, “why should I grow older and not Cliffy? Why should I be allowed to have birthdays, get married, have a child, and not Cliffy?”

Last year, 51 years after Cliffy left us, I cried out to God. I said, “Lord, Cliffy missed out on so much!”

Instantly I heard the Lord say “Cliffy didn’t miss out on anything. He’s been with ME all these years. He didn’t miss out on anything”!

I had the sudden realization that all these years I was comparing life on earth to spending eternity in Heaven with Jesus.

I missed Cliffy, but Cliffy did not miss out on anything!

I still cry, but the heavy sorrow and grief is no longer there. I will see Cliffy again!